Let us sing to My Little Ponies

Day 4 - Your most significant childhood memory.

If we're talking significant as in "shaping who I am today" then there are quite a few... most of which involved a tape recorder... which now serves as some sort of cruel blackmail that is safely locked away at my parents house.

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be famous. At first I wanted to be a news reporter. This I blame on Sesame Street, more specifically Kermit the Frog. I remember running around my house with my red tape recorder as I excitedly reported the news and interviewed my parents. I had to be under the age of 5 because all of these memories are from my house in Amherst (which I moved from when I was 5).

After my brief news reporter stage, I quickly moved on to wanting to be a singer. My aunt tells me stories about how I used to sing songs about how angry I was when my mom made me mad. Apparently, I would sit underneath the table and sing my disdain. Again, the red tape recorder was my best friend. I specifically remember sitting in the bathtub with my extensive collection of My Little Ponies and creating a song involving each and every one of them. At some point long ago, I actually found that tape... and let me tell you... It's pretty damn hilarious.

My next memory is probably from elementary school. I went through a Bette Middler and Celine Dion phase. Bette Middle was basically my hero. Her song "The Wind Beneath My Wings" is the first song I remember knowing the lyrics to. When I was about 9 I graduated from my red tape recorder to a brand new, mega awesome karaoke machine. You could play the music AND record your voice at the SAME TIME. This was a very exciting concept to me. I received it for Christmas at my Nana's house in Connecticut and I started using it immediately. I would NOT, under and circumstances, allow my aunt to use it that night. She's notorious for not having the best singing voices, and apparently my snobby nine-year-old self couldn't have her voice messing up my precious karaoke machine. She ended up sneakily recording her song anyway, and I hope to "god" we still have that tape.

Anyway, after getting the karaoke machine I started recording myself to every song I could possibly think of. Bette Middler, Mirah Carey, Celine Dion... I did it all. I learned every song off the tape that came with the machine as well... which included many fantastic early 90s hits, such as Unbreak my Heart and that song from Ghost I can't remember the name of. Sometimes I would go the distance and record a song, then dress up in my fancy clothes, stand on my desk chair and accept my Grammy award. Yes, I was that kind of child.

There was a brief time my karaoke machine was retired, but it was soon brought back to life once I started learning how to play guitar. I spent a good chunk of 15 and 16 secluded in my basement with nothing but my guitar, my notebook and the karaoke machine, recording song after song. Now, somewhere, I have a whole bucket full of cassette tapes filled with my goth-child teenage angst.

The next step in my music career came when my friends and I formed my very first band, Sorrow. Yes again, I was that kind of teenager. It started out with my friend Jackie as the singer, Lauren on bass, and I was on guitar. We used a combination of my karaoke machine and Jackie's 8 track (cassette) recorder. Our first performance was at our schools lock in when I was about 15. We played our only song at the time which was appropriately named, "Too Long." I'm pretty sure I still know how to play it too. That night we ended up adding two more members, Patrick on drums and Greg on lead guitar. Our next big show was the talent show where we played our one song (Too Long) again AND made our full band debut by playing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana. Yes, this is on videotape, and yes, I did feel like a complete bad ass. It's still probably one of the best shows I've played. We had all our friends up in the front and as we got off stage everyone wanted to touch our hands. Bliss, that was bliss for me.

Sometimes, even being where I am now in my music career, I sit back and think, "Wow." We may not be the biggest band. We may not have that big of a following, but the fact that I'm actually getting up on stage... standing in a recording studio... being played on the radio (even doing an interview for one)... and have 2 CDs (with another one on the way) is amazing. I never, ever thought in a million years I would have the ovaries (my alternative to balls) to get even here. If nothing ends up coming of this, as much as I want it to, it will be okay. I'm trying. I'm learning so, so much, and I've made some fantastic friendships with people I probably would have never met otherwise.

So I'm very thankful for my red tape recorder, and even for my box of blackmail. It has all helped to shape me into the person I am today.