London calling...

Last week I received one of the top 5 most depressing emails of all time. Up until that point, I had thought the Mighty Boosh Live tickets we purchased were lost somewhere in the mail... Perhaps they were in the ocean... But no. It started out like any other time I went to check my email, but then dramatically changed when, there, in the subject line I saw "Mighty Boosh Live tickets." No, I thought, no it couldn't be. Yes... yes it was. My beautiful tickets are waiting for me in London at the box office. Yeah that's so great! Thanks for telling me 3 weeks prior to the show, which leaves me.... NO time to attempt to save to get there. Oh believe me, there was a moment of panic when I thought to myself, "What the hell can I sell?" It even seemed like a plausable idea until I actually calculated everything. No, no unfortunately it's not possible. I'm missing out on one of the things I want most, a chance to see Noel Fielding's flawless face in person. *sigh* Someday I'll make it to London, I swear to Buddha, but for now I'm just going to have to settle with sitting in a corner, crying like a child on the 23rd... when I was supposed to be at the damn show.

And for those of you in London, or the UK in general, who are going to the show... Eff you man. Eff YOU! ... No not really. But please think of me... maybe your mind powers will send me images of what's going on before I have to search for them on youtube.... and cry.

You saved me.

It's sad to think that if things had worked out I would be leaving for London in 3 weeks. I'd be staring at Noel Fielding's beautiful face in real life, and maybe even speaking to him. BUT apparently, that is not what the universe had in store for me, and I'm actually content with not going... considering what it gave me instead.

One of the strangest things to me is how well you can connect with some people and not others. How you can meet someone and instantly form a bond, or develop a strong hatred. There have only been a small handful of people who I have instantly connected with in some way, and each time this occurs it sends me into deep thought. I mean, it has to mean something.

This almost goes hand-in-hand with my last post. When you meet these people, and form that bond, it's as if you were SUPPOSED to meet them. And every time this happens to me I try to figure out exactly why that is. What am I here for? What am I learning now? Sometimes, it's a little overwhelming. Normally I don't trust, don't fall in love, don't open up that easily and when I find myself doing just that I have to take a step back. I put up a wall to try and save myself from any possible pain. I fear pouring everything into something that could quite possibly go to shit at any second. This is just paranoia, and I should just relax. Even if things do go to shit, it was still a learning experience. I still gained something from it. So slowly, I just relax and try to go with the flow (for lack of a better phrase). But still, in the back of my mind... I'm trying to figure this person out, and why they have been put into my life.

So this "instabond" happened to me, just about a month ago, and I found myself doing all the things I mention above. But let me tell you what a fantastic feeling it is, despite all the stupid paranoia that comes with it. It still scares me a bit, especially since I started feeling things I never thought I would feel again. I'm definitely happy... and definitely glad the universe gave me this instead.

Noel Fielding: Literally the man of my dreams.

Ever have one of those dreams where, in it, you think, "For the love of god, please don't be a dream." Then when you wake you are overcome with the biggest, dorkiest overwhelmingly sad feeling...? Well I did. I'm sitting here still left in the post dream haze, still hanging on to the little bits of happy anxiety that linger in my body, and I've come to this conclusion:

I am a HUGE dork, and subconciously I'm a much bigger fangirl than I thought I was.

First of all, I was living in London (well it was supposed to be, but no one had accents). Second, Noel Fielding (who took the form of a accentless, plump version of Trent Reznor.. wtf?!) saw me and was INSTANTLY in love. Ok seriously, besides the whole plump Trent Reznor thing, who wouldn't want to be in that dream? Hmm?

Not this girl. Oh Noel...