Stop. Emo-time.

Sometimes I take a step back and look at myself, really look at myself, and I think, "What am I doing?" Sometimes I feel so out of control of my own life, my own body, my own mind. There are times I feel so focused, but then one little thing gets in my way and I spiral out of control. My mind is so full of contradictions, and it's slowly driving me insane.

What do I want? I've never really had a hard time answering this question. I'd like to think I know exactly what I want from my life, but are my goals and aspirations too far fetched? Will I ever be able to complete one single thing that will make me feel whole and accomplished? When will I be strong enough to take that first blind leap? When will everyone else's opinions not matter to me?

I worry too much. I think too much. I obsess over nothing. I fall too hard. My mind is my worst enemy. I am keeping myself down, standing in my own way, and it frustrates me to no end.

Anxiety has me by my hypothetical balls (ovaries?) again, and I swear to all that is holy, I'm going to punch myself right in the brain to make it stop.